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Rule No. 5: No Sex on the Bus: Confessions of a Tour Leader by Brian Thacker
Synopsis: In this rollicking, absurd ride, Brian Thacker, bus-tour leader extraordinaire, confesses all as he reveals the best (and worst) of more than 20 trips as a tour leader though Europe. He tells how he fed passengers horsemeat spag bog, hamburgers made from breakfast cereal, and roosters' testicles. He also introduces people to the world of scams, broken rules, terrible blunders, promiscuous locals, and inevitable clashes of cultures when a busful of tourists take on Europe on a four-week tour. Other stories include how he left a passenger standing by the side of a motorway in France for three hours in his underwear clutching a purple toothbrush, and how he lost his driver, his cook, his bus, 10 brightly colored canal bikes, a large church, and eventually his patience. Countries dissected include Belgium, Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, Spain, and France.
Review: The subtitle of this book says it all: Confessions of a tour leader. Brian is an Ozzie who made a living in Europe for a while doing tours through the old continent. Mostly young Ozzies, but also North Americans and Japanese were dragged through 11 countries within 4 weeks by him. He dedicates a chapter to every main country. Which means Liechtenstein and Monaco miss out, as does Belgium, where they only go through on their way to Amsterdam. It is a very amusing book with loads of funny anecdotes about these tours. The funny things you see on the road (stripshows in Amsterdam), the pranks you pull on the guests (hold your passport flat against the window, your face next to it, the camera's will register everything, they will only stop is if something is wrong), the stupid questions you get (if I call home now, will my mom be there?) and the things drivers get up to (coach captain Kevin Kelvin was fairly active apparently). Funny stories with plenty of stereotypes thrown in. Ozzies all like to get pissed all the time, the Dutch are all half stoned most of the time, and the Germans speak English with a funny accent. Every one in Switzerland makes loads of money for doing nothing, the Italians are inventive in the way they con you, the French never take showers and more prejudice in the same category.Sounds fairly standard, but all in all it is a good book. Especially those of you who have worked with tourists (like I have myself) will recognise a lot. Anybody in customer care basically will enjoy this book. All travel addicts as well. I've already copied a few pages to use in my classes at school; the chapter on Amsterdam gives my students a brilliant view of how people abroad see our capitol. Recommendable book. If you can get hold of it, as I haven't seen it anywhere but in Oz yet.
Review: Brian actually manages to live up to the promises this book makes. It is fun to read, insightful, very sarcastic, and produces many a laugh-out-loud experience. The juxtaposition of his crass descriptions of the antics on tour, with his detailed appreciation for the natural and cultural diversity of the setting, forms the most entertaining component of all. If you're considering taking such a tour, or worse, becoming a tour leader / bus driver, you MUST read this book!
Review: Like any tour guide, Australian Brian Thacker has many stories to tell, mostly outrageous. Anyone who has travelled on an 18-35 guided tour will have a fair idea of what to expect, i.e. large amounts of drinking and plenty of nocturnal activity with some cultural thoughts thrown in. The book explores the varied perils and pleasures of being a tour guide, travelling by coach or double-decker bus from campsite to campsite, with much fun made of the young travellers, mostly fellow Antipodeans. It follows a specific tourist route around Western Europe including stops in Amsterdam, St.Goar, Lauterbrunnen, Munich, Salzburg, Venice, Florence, Rome, Cannes, Barcelona, Avignon and Paris. There are brief guides to the sights and inhabitants of each area with some tips about where to go, but the best bits are the incredible stories about the funny, shocking and revealing things that happen on holiday. There are no pictures but the descriptions are vivid enough, and if some tales seem crude then it simply reflects the uninhibited nature of many of the tours. Having been on one of Brian's tours, I recognise some stories and can vouch for their accuracy, (but deny any personal involvement). Like any holiday, there is fun to be had and you may learn something new, although your idea of a good time may differ from others.
Review:
Funniest book I have read in a long time. Really enjoyed it don't take any notice if the title.
Review: i encountered this book on a friend's bookshelf nearly two years ago. after deciding that i needed to give her copy back to her, i bought my own. it's hysterical and evokes my own laughable memories of trips abroad. definitely worth a read!!
Review: absolutely loved this book! reminds me so much of the tour i did in europe and i've even been to most of the extra excursions that were mentioned in the book (i'm suspecting it's the same company). everything about being on tour was completely accurate. fantastic read. made me miss europe, made me miss the people on my tour and made me miss being on holidays and having fun
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